If I ever get married it will definitely be to a woman – I’m just not into guys that way. Not that there’s anything wrong with being into guys, of course. BUT, if for some reason I HAD TO marry a guy – for example if someone was going to blow up the earth or bring back disco unless I got hitched to a dude – I would marry Dancing Matt. In addition to being an obvious travel partner, our dancing skills are about equal so I wouldn’t have to worry about being the only one who looked like an idiot on the dance floor.
And as long as I’m admitting to potential gay marriage partners, Bob Seger has to be on the list, too. Bob rules. And the obligatory quick macho male-chauvinist bit to salvage manhood: Claudia Schiffer, Kate from “Lost”, and Natalie Portman are all super-hot…
I wrote an email to Matt so hopefully he will respond and I will be able to make your dreams come true. If I get you a date you have to at least make out with him.
thanks man, i’m so lucky to have a brother like you.
one…
two…
three…
four…
five…
NOT!
You know how I know you are gay? Because you want to marry men.
Excellent point. Hey! If you had the choice between being the top scientist in your field, or of getting mad cow, which would you choose?
Good! For a moment there I thought you were gonna say mad cow.
I just got shot down by the broad in the leasing office. Yeeeeeesssss!!!!!
Lloyd: What are the chances of a guy like you and a girl like me… ending up together?
Mary: Well, that’s pretty difficult to say.
Lloyd: Hit me with it! I’ve come a long way to see you, Mary. The least you can do is level with me. What are my chances?
Mary: Not good.
Lloyd: You mean, not good like one out of a hundred?
Mary: I’d say more like one out of a million.
[pause]
Lloyd: So you’re telling me there’s a chance.