Year: 2005

One of my brother’s high school classmates has apparently earned his fifteen minutes of fame due to his desire to mock academic groups that accept papers too easily. Jeremy Stribling and two friends wrote a computer program to generate a paper consisting of semi-random gibberish and got it accepted to a conference. Story from CNN.

My already limited mental capacity was further diminished due to tiredness last night, so here’s another take on yesterday. The Valley of the Gods was a scenic spot, although the name may have been a bit overdramatic; compared to the Grand Canyon or Monument Valley, a place named the Valley of the Gods has a lot to live up to.

The end of the road through the valley eventually led me to Natural Bridges National Monument, which unsurprisingly was the home of three really impressive natural bridges. I opted to see the bridges from the eight mile hike through the canyons, and whether due to the sun, the sandy terrain, or whatever, the hike kicked my butt. Very worthwhile, but seldom has a person ever been so glad to sit on his ass as I was after getting back to the Subaru.

Towards dinner time I passed through the first decent-sized town that I’ve seen in a while, and thought a Subway sandwich sounded like a good dinner option. HUGE mistake. I should have been warned when it took a few minutes to prepare to make my sandwich (plastic gloves are tricky little things, ya know), but cash register operation was another matter entirely.

“Do you want a combo?”

“Sure.”

“OK, your total is $7.21.”

My first mistake: “Um, it says on the menu that the combo costs $5.89.”

“Yes, and then plus drink and chips, the total is $7.21.” (Note to self: in the future, run away when presented with logic like this)

“But doesn’t the combo include drink and chips? Otherwise why would I want the combo?”

“Yes, I added drink and chips, so the total is $7.21.”

My second mistake: “OK, actually could I just get the sandwich then? No combo?”

After tons of deliberation over how to change an order: “OK, that’s $5.21.”

My third mistake: I hand her $20.21.

After more deliberation that required calling a co-worker: “I think I messed up, and now I don’t know how much change to give.”

(Incredulously) “I’m pretty sure the change is $15.00.”

Many moons later, sandwich in hand, I ran away as fast as my little legs would carry me.

So tired… this morning I woke up in the Valley of the Gods, made a stop in Natural Bridges National Monument, melted portions of my brain in the sun while hiking several miles, survived a debacle while getting dinner at Subway, attempted to re-establish contact with the outside world, and then spent an inordinately long time looking for a spot where I could park for the evening without being bothered. I’ll elaborate later, but at the moment my left eye is already shut, and my right eye is campaigning loudly to be allowed to join its brethren.

A whiteout this morning thwarted plans of hiking in Navajo National Monument, and intermittent squalls throughout the rest of the day pretty much curtailed all activity. At present I’m parked for the evening behind a group of empty souvenir stands (“Stop here! Friendly Indians!”) on an overlook that should provide a very memorable sunrise if the Monument Valley weather cooperates.

As punishment for staying in a hotel last night the travel gods filled the next room with guys who felt the need to share their love of bad music with the other hotel guests until nearly midnight, and then repeat the stunt at 6:00 this morning. Luckily the joys of being able to shower offset this annoyance, making bloodshed unnecessary. Once on the road this morning the plan was to head northeast towards Mesa Verde, but a picture on the wall of a Jiffy Lube diverted me to the west and towards Monument Valley. One change of destination was apparently not enough, and somehow I finished the day in Navajo National Monument. The latest plan is to head to Monument Valley for sunset tomorrow, but at this point it’s anyone’s guess as to where I actually end up.

After some early morning hiking across the lava flows and a trip into town to pick up fresh batteries I returned to Junction Cave to do some exploring. The cave isn’t particularly long, but it was tough going and took nearly two hours for the round-trip. To reach the end of the cave required squirming through a tunnel less than three feet high that was so damp that my breath caused the air to begin filling with fog. On the return trip I stopped, shut off my flashlight, and sat down to experience the complete lack of light and see what tricks my mind might play on me. After a few minutes I started seeing really bright flashes that would pulse in and out, but after about five minutes of enjoying this trippy display I finally realized my brain was fine and that someone else was in the cave and I was seeing reflected light from their flashlight.

A late afternoon visit to El Morro National Monument completed the day. That park was created to preserve what is basically four hundred years worth of graffiti on the sandstone cliffs, but the hike to the top of the cliffs was more to my liking. I’ve committed the sin of getting a hotel room for the night, and can only justify the decision by stating that a shower makes the breach of road trip protocol so very worthwhile.