Ryan's Journal

Just a note that updates may be sporadic until I figure out how I broke my FTP server. Using the UNIX vi editor on an SSH connection to update a web page is not something I want to do often.

Before heading off to vacation, Dave Barry left a challenge to all of his readers: Poetry.com runs a monthly poetry contest. Dave’s challenge was to create poems that incorporate the phrase “the dog ate my mother’s toes”. The entries are both surprisingly good and rather disturbing — go to Poetry.com and search for poets with a first name of “Freemont” to read them.

Yesterday was a good day — woke up at 4:30 and picked up a friend to go to Volcanoes National Park. Two and a half hours later we were at the Kilauea crater, an awesome sight. Did a bit of hiking there (including a trek through a lava tube), took some photos, then headed down to the coast to see the area where the volcano is still active. The web site for the park had mentioned that if we were lucky we might see some steam where the underground lava was reaching the sea, but instead of steam we got to see a river of lava running down the hillside — apparently starting Thursday the eruptions had picked up in intensity. Not only did we get to see this, but we were able to walk about a mile out over the cooled lava to within fifteen feet of the lava flow — there was rock melting and burning all around us while molten lava poured down the hill in front of us. Hawaii isn’t somewhere that’s high on my list of travel spots, but this experience definitely pushed it up several notches.

The big island of Hawaii is a lot nicer than I expected — most of it is ranches, national park, and two giant (13,000+ foot) volcanoes. The coast is fairly rugged and undeveloped, and the scenery varies from rain forest to desert lava flows. The coolest thing about this island is that one side is dry, the other rainy, and the transition zone between the two is only a few miles wide — when driving you literally turn a corner and go from low shrubs to green pastures. It messes with you — Scott, Anna and I were hiking today and it started to rain, so we decided to drive the short distance to the “dry side” and it was completely sunny there for the remainder of the day. Weather changes dramatically in places, but I’ve never seen anything quite like it is here.

I’m having one of those moments where the “real world” suddenly seems utterly surreal — a friend of mine is getting married in Hawaii on Monday, so I’m sitting in LAX waiting for the plane. There’s a muzak version of “Bridge Over Troubled Water” playing, and I can’t help but wonder what committee, focus group, or other ambiguous mass of individuals concluded that this was what should be playing in airports. I’d bet large sums of money that not a single person in that focus group preferred the muzak version to the original, but groups have a way of doing things that individuals never would.

Meanwhile at least half of the passengers are wearing these god-awful Hawaiin shirts, and while I’ll laugh along with the people who wear them as a statement of leaving everything behind (“I’m wearing it because I can“), I’m disturbed at the thought that some of them are wearing something like that because “this is what you wear in Hawaii”. Maybe having just finished re-reading Atlas Shrugged and watching “Fight Club” has made me cynical, but sitting here I just can’t make this environment feel like it’s in any way grounded in reality… Luckily tomorrow I’ll be on a volcano with the jungle and the Pacific spread out around me, and there’s no doubt as to the reality of that environment.

Courtesy of Dave Barry, I laughed out loud when I watched this video.

171 days to Antarctica…

Just when you start to think that LA isn’t really that bizarre of a place to live, someone hits a horse (yes, a horse) on the freeway in the middle of Burbank and turns a fifteen minute commute into an hour and a half commute.

…or I could fill one of the last available berths on this year’s Cheeseman trip and visit Antarctica this winter. Between his ability to respond to e-mail faster than any human being I’ve ever met, and his talent for saying just the right thing at the wrong time (“Actually we do have a room that opened up due to cancellation, but it’s the smallest and cheapest one on the ship”) Doug Cheeseman may have just succeeded in luring me away from a from a very comfortable life and a cushy job.

…and now I’ve booked a spot. If anyone wants me to bring them back a penguin…

Disaster! Cheeseman’s isn’t doing a trip in 2004-2005, so I’ll either need to hold off for a year or else find another group to go with…

I’ve spent the past four hours online browsing trips to Antarctica. Since the February 1984 issue of Ranger Rick it’s been the place I’ve most wanted to visit in this world, but the costs are extraordinarily prohibitive. I’ve always said that I’d go “some day” when I could afford it — tonight’s epiphany was that I’ve gotten to the point where this dream is no longer impossible, so “some day” is now the winter of 2004-2005. Yeah, it’s still extraordinarily expensive, but I’d rather die broke having lived my life than rich but unfulfilled.

If anyone browsing this site has ever been to Antarctica (hello Greg) or knows anyone who has been then I’d appreciate any tips about what the best way to see that part of the world is — the message board works, or you can e-mail me (ryan.holliday@gmail.com if you don’t know my regular e-mail address). After lots of browsing the best option I’ve found looks like Cheeseman’s Antarctic Tour. They aren’t cheap, but they offer more time in Antarctica and seem geared towards people who want to get the most out of their trip rather than take it easy and relax on board. It would be nice to keep costs down, but at the same time this is probably a once in a lifetime thing, so there’s no point cutting costs if it means less time exploring.

Now that I’ve realized that this trip is not only possible, but that I’ve actually made up my mind to go, I’ve been driving JB crazy talking about it. Sleep is suddenly hard to come by…

It was a year ago this weekend that Jason and I went backpacking in the Sierras and I decided to quit my job with Accenture. I didn’t really have any doubts at the time as to whether it was a good decision or not, but a trip to Alaska, another trip with family and friends to the Galapagos Islands, and a new life as an independent contractor have since proven what a huge turning point that weekend was for me. If anyone else is debating whether it’s better to be comfortable or to try something new, based on my own experiences I’d have to wholeheartedly urge you to go for it.

It just occurred to me that by posting the previous story I will become a target for web searches on “naked hairy ass”. God help me.

Lest people stop checking the site since there aren’t any updates, here’s a story from a couple of days ago that probably shouldn’t be repeated, much less put on a web site.

Last week I had finished my workout and was getting changed when an old Italian man came strolling by in all of his glory. Seeing as we were in the locker room it didn’t really phase me, but as time went on this man simply refused to put on any clothing. He was walking back and forth through the locker room, and you couldn’t help but notice that the guy was hairy as a gorilla — back hair, front hair, everywhere hair. Finally he stopped roaming around, only to plop himself in front of a mirror where he proceeded to blow dry the hair on his ass. I have never really felt that there was a need for all of the laser hair removal and other clinics out there, but at that moment I would have gladly paid this man to go to one. The moral of this story: if you see a naked, hairy person reaching for a blow dryer, get away fast. Definitely do not look back.

The Helicopter Game used to be my favorite mindless diversion on the web, but Defend Your Castle has now taken the top spot. Be sure your computer volume is on while playing — the “splat” noises are particularly gratifying.